*Eats Hot Pocket and grumbles about my disenchantment with american society*

why is it so cold. i need to make vlog. cold brooke does not want to get out of bed now. but most vlog. sigh.

Books that ruined my life in 2012:

• Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
• Go Do by Jay Milbrandt
• Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis
• Radical by David Platt
• Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne 
• On Man & Nature by Thoreau

Sickness Update: I am still a sad panda. I have eaten a piece of toast and swallowed a mouth full of ginger ale. All my family is out doing cute christmas things. Overall, I wish I could cut my stomach out of my body because it has never brought good feelings into my life. Amen.

For the last week my dad has been hounding me to apply to positions available at the casino and a bank around our house but just can’t bring myself to do it. It goes against everything I want! I know I am not in a position to really be picky over jobs and I should be thankful for any that come my way but I know that if I were to get one of these jobs I would be hate every moment of it. They are not places I would grow in and they are certainly not places I would want to stay long term. The self loathing would come back…I know it would. I don’t want things to get like last year again. I’ve learned what works for me. I HAVE to be passionate about what I am doing or I end up dreading/hating every moment of it…and myself. UGH. I just really don’t know what else to do anymore. I’ve applied at so many places around here and heard nothing back. I just want to live in the city and find work there somehow. I’m getting so stir crazy living at home and I am in a constant state of feeling like a reprimanded child. 

Why am I not Lana Del Rey yet? 

If someone wants to sit here and tell me that I can’t live off of granola bars and diet cranberry sierra mist then you are wrong and we cant be friends.

Cleaning my room whilst listening to Panic at the Disco. Feels like middle school all over again just minus the self doubt and horrible outfit choices. 

Most days I just sit here reading national geographic and travel blogs… It literally hurts that I’m just sitting here instead of having adventures. I am blessed with so much but I just can’t seem to sit still at the moment. Grumble.

My dad just asked me if I got another nose piercing. Just a zit dad. Just a zit. 

Train rides. Chai Lattes. Scary movies. Geocaching. Old friends. Long mornings. New friends. Late nights. Homemade burritos. Bloody hands. Forehead kisses. Stolen sweaters. Porch sunsets. Story boarding. Crisp air. Shared beds.

This weekend was the tops.

Most used sentence: I should be writing.